What do you take me for...Really?

I cant describe how I feel now.

It was a good mixture of everything bad finished with a fuck up touch.

How to say and should I even carry on blogging here.

Somethings...
When it is gone,it should remained there.

If it was a decision to let go,it is to be gone.

I am such.
I dont like to bite back and do backward roll.

Yes,I do love reminiscing.
But reminiscing is all that I do.
All that I will do.

I am always circling in my own rounds,in my own world.
Been waiting..been waiting.
Been waiting for someone to be able to join me and then bring me out.

What have I been taken for?

How to tell you that I dont like this at all.
You may not realised this.
But I felt that I have been taken for a ride.(and it was a bad one!)

Am I supposed to feel glad,touch,sorry?

Above all I felt ultimate .... hollowness.
Once that really hurt , was cavity now.
I long buried them inside so noone can sees, so I wont really remember every other then.

When I thought I was forsaken.
When I thought it was gone.

You come tapping on my shoulder that I am just fooling myself.

Sigh.
Am I?

I was not wrong when things happen then.
Was I?

If I am,then why arent you here?


When my world was down, who was there?
Noone ok?
Not physically nor spiritually.


Then now I realised that you were behind me,watching me..but where is the hand that I need?

Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for me to climb up and walk again.
Like I will always be fine.

Sure I will be coz who else can I wait?

I am telling the world off.
Dont just think that I love to mask myself with such emotions.

It IS a fact that none is here.
You left.
So go?

Why break my heart and then tell me that you are still here.

Where?
Why cant I see?


I never forget the nights that I have to cry alone.
My pillows stained with my tears.
Who wipe my tears the next morning?
My eyes are long swollen.
You are still not here.


Even if you want to.
Even if you mean to.
But when you see me, you didnt do anything at all.


Many times I am waiting but I shielded.


Now I refused to bring my true smile.

Too many chances.
Too many people.
Too many misses.
Too many mistakes.

The longer I bear myself, the colder I feel.




Noone is here.
Dont tell me you are here.
You are NOT by my side when I need.
Register that.


If you left,please leave.
If you have not step in, dont attempt to when you dont possess that key.


I cant take anymore chances.

Be kind?
To who?


A fool I am?


Runaway train..never going back.